i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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