Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
