She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
