'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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