something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
