I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
