im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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