How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
