She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize