omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
