I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
its liver damage thursday
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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