She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
