he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
