you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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