I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
