69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
