C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want to have your abortion
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
