I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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