I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
