You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
