Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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