He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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