Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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