the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
