Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize