I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
