We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She said her name was "party"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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