Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi