i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Even my vagina gasped.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have post one night stand depression
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