Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
