It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
