people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
