So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
