I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
