So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
