at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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