A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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