I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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