real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
