how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
