Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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