So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
