guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize