***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
