Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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