I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
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Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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