If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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