"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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