As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
