goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you didnt know i had herpes?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
