STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
