i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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