She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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