ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
