I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
