Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Holy sore nipples Batman
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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