the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
