great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I will pee on everything he values.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
