I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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