just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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