My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
