I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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