I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
