Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
