You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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