I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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