Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
