I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
