best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Houston, we have a squirter
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
