I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
