i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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