Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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