I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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