how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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