why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
